How To Attract A Girl

How to attract a girl is has to do a lot with an attraction mindset, what you are putting out there to the world and your vibe that attracts not only situations but also people into your life. 

First of all, I want to tell you that this is not a guide on what to say or what to do to attract women but rather, it’s a guide on who to be. Being the right kind of guy that naturally says and does the right things to attract the hottest women. Before we dive into the 20 traits that naturally attract hot women let’s demystify what attraction is as well as how to practice having this mindset. Being someone who naturally attracts women is not about learning a technique or the right things to say. Rather, it’s about being a certain kind of man with the right mindset, habits, and lifestyle.


Attractive Traits 

As you embody the traits of this “Attraction Mindset” you’ll find that in the beginning, it might feel inauthentic. There might not be a lot of evidence to validate this new mindset. Now, what is the attraction mindset and how do you get it? It is made up of several different traits. Those traits include being comfortable with women, being decisive, having a purpose in life, and self-control, among other things which you’ll learn in this guide. Once you embody these traits there is very little to no competition here. In fact, it will be beautiful women who will compete for you and do most of the work.

As you go through each trait you may be asking but how do I embody each trait or what is the technique to show these traits to women? It’s simple to visualize yourself having each one of these elements and or having an abundant lifestyle full of the hottest women. This is true whether you want to live a player lifestyle or want to settle down with your ideal woman.




1. Be Comfortable with Women

A man that has the abundance mindset is comfortable with women and can deal with any “test”. Basically, you want to have nothing at stake, be present, carefree and feel/act as if you are with old friends when you’re around the women you like or very attractive women. Always have a calm demeanor and speak your mind.
Part of dealing with any test a woman throws at you is creating your own playful “tests and being a challenge even before she does it. You want to be testing and interviewing hot women to see if they qualify to hang out with you, sleep with you, etc. again in a playful manner. Not the other way around.


2. Be a Challenge

A good way to be a challenge is to say and do the opposite of what women want to hear in a playful way. That’s what very attractive women do and say. So, you’re basically stealing their frame.

For example, hot women may say things to disqualify themselves from being with you. Things such as “you can’t handle me” or “I’m too much trouble for you”.Most guys then act needy and try to qualify themselves to women. However, the powerful thing to do here is to agree with her and take it a step further by teasing her.
You could start disqualifying yourself playfully before she even started. Perhaps saying a backhanded compliment such as “you know it wouldn’t work between us”…pause…“we get along too well…it’s a bit too boring” as you smile or smirk. Take this example in the context of a girl you’ve just met or on the first or second date.
You can always say the opposite of what they want to hear and always challenge them. When they ask you to do something either do the opposite or don’t do when they ask.

For example, when they ask what do you do for a living, you can make a joke about it such as “I work from my computer,..pause…doing webcam shows”…with a serious face and then you may tell them what you do. Again, be a challenge and comfortable with women so much so that you treat them like you’re with an old friend.


3. Lead and Be Decisive

There is nothing more unattractive than a man that can’t make decisions. When you go out on a date to choose the venue. Women love it when you choose for them and make decisions. You can always give options, but you determine the options.
Part of leading is making decisions and sticking to those decisions (be a leader).  People may not always agree with that decision they’ll respect the fact that you’ve made a decision


4. Be a Gentleman with a “Bad Boy” Edge

Another aspect of leading is being chivalrous. Although I don’t advocate going out on traditional dates (dinner etc. especially for a first or second date).I think you should be a man of service and having chivalry with women and everyone.

For example, giving her your jacket if it’s cold, then you can just tease her “yeah I notice you were cold…(pause)…in certain areas”. This is edgy and playful, but it’s balanced with the right amount of being a gentleman. Think of Han Solo from Star Wars, he never accepted being a good guy he always played a bad boy persona even when genuinely helping people.
Opening doors, walking outside of the curve (that depends on the culture), pulling out chairs and so on are good things to do. Being protective and making her feel safe and comfortable.
As you create comfort with being protective you also build tension with your banter, teasing, flirting and jokes. Women interpret everything you say and do. So this is communicating a very strong message that you are a strong, chivalrous male with a sexy edge, not the typical nice guy. All in all, don’t make this technique. Genuinely be a good human being that helps others.


5. Be a Man of Purpose

Have your own life and be a man of purpose. It’s always good to have plans and be a bit unavailable with women. It goes along with the previous trait of leading and making decisions. You are already on purpose or doing something that you love and she is welcome to come along. That’s the mindset with this trait.

For example, if you’re inviting a girl out for a drink, don’t say “are you free this week or weekend?” Instead, lead and give a couple of options rather than showing that you’re completely open.
6. Be Unavailable and Unpredictable
Part of having a life is being a bit unavailable and letting women schedule something with you ahead of time communicates that even if you lead they still have to court you. That free time with you doesn’t come around too often and that you have important things going on in your life.
A few exceptions to this rule are; if you meet a girl and you invite her to join you for a drink or coffee right then and there. Also, if you’re in a culture that is more informal and more spontaneous when it comes to meeting up.
Being a guy who has options in terms of women is very attractive. This is in the context of when you are first starting to date someone. Since this is the case sometimes you might turn down dates, sex, or women in general, because you have too much going on. Being picky, having standards for who you spend your time with is part of the attraction mindset.


7. Have Self-control and Standards

Have self-control and be unmoved by women’s sexual charms. Be almost bored with beautiful women’s looks and sexuality. In your high standards and abundance mindset, there should only be some hot women you might consider hooking up with if it suits you and if she qualifies according to your standards that go beyond looks.

Your frame and story should be the following: “I can sleep with any hot women I want, but they must prove to me beyond a doubt that they’re worthy beyond being physically attractive such as (insert criteria here). I’m extremely picky.”
Whatever they say or do is never enough, you’re always pulling back (verbally, physically, mentally and socially) and they’re always chasing you to get your attention. Your frame is “I might be interested in this attractive woman, but I’m going to playfully investigate if she qualifies.”


8. Expect Respect

Know that you deserve the respect of your time, energy and property by women. This doesn’t mean that you demand respect but, rather if a woman flakes or doesn’t seem to be respecting you in any way, you move on. You don’t blow up on her. You simply move on. Everything should be on your terms. Have zero tolerance for drama or bad behavior, just move on. There is no second chance with you.


9.   Be Valuable and a Higher Status Man

Know your value, be self-validated and congruent in your value. Put yourself on a pedestal. Have the mindset that models are the ones who show you off in front of their friends and other people. They treat you as a valuable commodity.
The reason why this trait is so powerful is that most men have zero respect for themselves and are willing to sacrifice their values, beliefs, time, property and basically everything just to hang out with a hot woman, or to get a chance to sleep with them.  Instead, value yourself, have respect for your beliefs and what you’re about. Then be congruent with that, and whether a hot woman agrees or not with you, she’ll respect the fact that you are being honest and authentically valuable. A big part of why these traits work so well and are so powerful is because they are not about getting laid or getting anything from women. They’re not a technique, but rather who you are choosing to be.

Also, these traits are the opposite of trying to get something from women. In fact, you are giving women what they want, what they’ve read about in romance novels and fantasized about. The strong, powerful and authentic man.


10. Be Unimpressed by Superficial Things

Be unimpressed by money, looks, power or status. Judge people based on character and how they behave. Treat everyone the same from a CEO to the janitor of a company, for example. This also applies to looks as well. Treat a hot woman just like you would treat a regular looking woman or any other person in regards to value.
Value people on more than just those superficial things. To clarify, this doesn’t mean you stay away from high-end events or good-looking women. It just means that you are no longer emotionally affected by those things.


11. Control Your Internal State

Never allow internal feelings for an exceptionally beautiful woman to affect your outward actions or emotional responses. You must learn to manage your emotions and inner reactions very well and to separate them from your outer reaction.
How do you do this? Breath calm & deeply, lean back and get physically relaxed.

Find flaws with hot women or whoever you might be seen as higher status. It’s similar to when you have a hard breakup. We tend to idealize the other person and only see their positive. Make fun of them in a lighthearted way and view yourself and the room in a 3rd person (disidentifying from yourself and the situation).
Another instance when you want to manage your inner and outer reactions is when beautiful women begin to pursue you. Yes, once you adopt this abundance mindset and traits they will start chasing you! In these situations, you also want to remain calm and relaxed as if it happens to you all the time. You reward hot women by first not judging them, and by being calm and collected they feel relaxed about chasing you too.
So, manage your mental & emotional state and it will have a tremendous effect on your interactions with women. Try meditation as well to help relax and be more present in general.


12. Be a Great Communicator

It is important to be assertive in your communication (fearless of what you want to do), be decisive (fearless of disagreement) and communicate what you believe. This is part of leading.
Part of being a great communicator also means being a great listener. Get people talking about themselves, listen and ask more questions (everyone is their own favorite topic). As you listen and ask questions you’ll be able to lead conversations easily and have more room to banter with hot women since you won’t be doing all the talking.


13. Live in YOUR reality

Be unaffected by outside events. This is similar to staying relaxed and unfazed by women’s looks or sexuality. A strong confident male always stays cool, calm and collected.
Live in your reality and be rock-solid in it. In this case, your reality is one of abundance and being extremely secure in yourself.
Tip: Meditation and affirmations can help ground you and create confidence.


14. Be Comfortable in your own Skin

In continuation of being confident, it is important to be comfortable in your own skin. This means in every regard such as sexually, how you look, your personality, and just being self-validated.
It’s not just about being confident or comfortable about your strengths; it’s about being confident and comfortable with your weaknesses and insecurities too. Thus, making them into strengths. Anyone can be confident and show off what they have gone well for themselves, but few can brag and make jokes about what used to be their insecurities or “weaknesses”.
For example, if you are short, tall, fat, skinny, or whatever you think holds you back, tell yourself that it is “the hottest thing in the world” and it will be so. Then, once you feel good about that thing you’re insecure about start joking about it out loud as if it were a strength. Let’s say you’re short and a girl points it out, don’t fold, say “You have great observation skills…you might even be worth the climb”, as you give her a smile and look her right in the eyes.


15. Be a cause in the world not an effect

This is such an important concept that will change your life. Basically, it’s about taking responsibility for your life, your state and your reality instead of always blaming outside events, circumstances or other people.
Once you accept responsibility you accept control over your life. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny.”
Tip: Here is an affirmation that has helped me over the years. “I do everything I want with enough authority and always get away with it. Everyone is a guest in my reality and I take responsibility for everything. I am a cause in the world.”


16. Know a little bit about a lot

Part of having an abundant mindset and being a strong male is having multiple skill-sets, hobbies, interests and being cultured. Think of James Bond, he has vast skills and knowledge that he can adapt to any situation, culture or anything. You want to be the kind of guy that can walk into any place or any environment and fit in.
Warning: This does NOT mean that you are a know it all or show off what you know. It simply means that if the situation arises you will probably have the skills to handle it confidently and comfortably.
This doesn’t mean you pick up random hobbies or interests to impress women but rather you have an interesting life and live passionately. For example, traveling, dancing, martial arts or you love camping or cars, etc. It doesn’t matter. Just know a little bit about different subjects that you are interested in.  Living with passion will make you interesting and also, allow you to have more skills to adapt to life in general.


17. Don’t Put ALL Your Eggs in One Basket

This next part of the abundance mindset and being a strong male can apply to every area of your life, not just dating hot women. Never invest in a single outcome or a single woman. This again is in the context of when you are first starting to date someone.
This is a big part of living in abundance; you can’t just bet it all in one woman especially since you don’t know if this woman is right for you yet. If for whatever reason it doesn’t work out with one woman you are left with nothing.
Only give time, attention and energy to attractive women who are doing the same with you. Ignore all others and move on and only pay attention to those who pursue you. This is not about being with a ton of women unless that’s what you want, it is more about having options and then selecting from those options.

As you begin to have options and become more selective you’ll learn to walk away from any hot woman if it doesn’t suit what you are looking for. This abundance mindset trait applies also when a woman breaks it off with you. Don’t keep going after her, trying to get her back and instead completely back-off/move on.


18. Believe That You Deserve the Best

If you really want to start creating abundance when it comes to beautiful women in your life give yourself permission to have it. Believe that you deserve hot women and can hold an exceptional woman or multiple ones. You are valuable and exceptional, be confident in yourself. Believe that an exceptional woman wants to stay with you regardless if you want to stay with her.

Know that you can have her as long you want to because of who you are. Also, because of your rough edges and imperfections. These imperfections are what keep ultra-hot women chasing after you. Staying true to who you are can allow you to hold an exceptional woman as long as you wish.


19. Expect To Be Catered To

Allow others to cater to you. Have the mentality that everyone accommodates to you, especially ultra-hot women. Hot women are used to weak men that do whatever they want. Thus, the woman feels like they can’t trust them as a strong male.
They need a strong man who they can surrender to. An example of where this is important is when helping women.
When you help a woman out or give something, always make an excuse that you’re doing it for selfish reasons. Again, you don’t want to go down the path of the “nice guy” who needs approval.
So don’t ever take credit for being nice when it comes to social interactions or women. Women know that you have good intentions when you help. However, it sparks more attraction when you deny those intentions in a playful way. The rule of thumb is to help others but don’t take credit or playfully dismiss it.


20. Show Up as You Are

Remember, you have got nothing to prove, just showing up is all you have to do and it’s up to her to prove that she’s worthy of you. This is what value is, believing not only in yourself but in your own value and self-worth. It has nothing to do with money, looks, height, or anything else you might have been told.

The best way to do this is to turn your negatives or insecurities into strengths. See them from a different perspective.

What should you do next?

My recommendation is that you create affirmations for each one of these points. Then you repeat to yourself on a daily basis, and within a few months, you’ll begin to see the changes. The changes in your thoughts, behaviors, and results.

Also, be aware of signs that she is into you to support your new traits


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